I love to create
So I was looking at my blog and realized that it has been 2 years since I have written anything. What the heck?! 2 years! I’m no longer in my 20s, I’m sporting a mustache (keep your ‘ews’ to yourself, its Mustache March, thank you very much) and I’ve got some news…which I’ll talk about in a few paragraphs.
It’s exciting to reach age 30! When I was younger (8 to be exact), I thought of 30 plus year olds as these mature, impressive, adults that just know everything there is to know about life. I’d think of the businessman who would carry a briefcase to the large glass windowed office or the action hero that rode a motorcycle off into the sunset with style. I wanted to be that. And now arriving at this age, I can say it’s a lot different than what I thought. There’s been some fantastic learning experiences, some crappy years, followed by decent ones.
If there is anything that I wish I could tell my 20 year old self (other than keep lifting weights) it would be: ‘be yourself’. My entire life I’ve heard that. My parents said it. My youth pastor said it. My friends said it. The genie from Aladdin said it. And I took it as “Act natural. Don’t be like the other guy. Keep your cool.” But that really has been a heavy truth that has transformed my life.
I had no problem ‘being myself’ when I was younger without Christ. At 13 I legit believed that one day I would be working for the WWE as a professional wrestler. Sure I knew it was “fake” (staged if you will) but man did I LOVE world wrestling entertainment. I had posters all over my walls, action figures; I attended live events and tuned in every Monday and Thursday evening. It was who I was.
And this may sound odd, but after Jesus Christ saved me in 2004, being myself hasn’t been natural at all. I quickly found that I was at odds with myself sitting in a Sunday Service as I would hear all my time needed to be devoted to reading the Bible, spending time in prayer, in a small group, serving in at least 1 church service, attending a Sunday church service, volunteering in a ministry, sharing the gospel, attending a mid week service, traveling on mission trips etc. etc. etc. All of which I fell in love with and often found myself doing way too much of because I legit enjoyed doing it as for Jesus Himself.
As a young believer I felt so compelled to be a part of ministry. I was encouraged to serve my heart out. And ministry itself was painted, to me, in a light as the greatest calling a person could ever live into. Anything else was considered mediocre. “Why work for a secular corporation when you can serve the Kingdom of God on the Earth right now. Don’t be like that guy that wastes their life.” I’ve heard those exact words in my ears. Well dang. If doing something Christian in vocation is the highest esteemed thing to do with your life, count me in!
So I’ve worked in churches, served as a missionary, and more… and I can tell you, it’s all right. I was told that being these things was the greatest thing I could ever do with my life. But I don’t believe that anymore. Being myself in Christ is the greatest; most God glorifying thing I can do with my life. Instead of telling myself to be something Christian I should rather just allow myself to be loved by Jesus and to love Him back.
I’ve been in Mexico now for close to 3 years serving at a Bible College for free. As in they do not pay me but I pay them and work for them. That’s part of the missionary gig. Specifically I work in promoting, that is informing people, about the college. I’ve worked in graphic design, web design, video editing, etc. And something that I’ve been so lucky to do since being here is the space to work in a craft that I love. (And yea using blessed at this junction would be so cliché and diffuse what I’m trying to say.)
What’s so strange is that I actually forgot how much I LOVED to create. As a child I loved art. I would keep sketchpads of cartoons and characters of my imagination in my backpack at all times. In middle school I was in an A/V club creating movies and media. In high school I took drawing, painting, and pottery/ceramics courses. It was something “I just did without thinking.” It was natural and it was something that honestly I never even thought would be useful.
When this mind shift began forming I found so much legalism disappear. I found that I was listening less to what people were telling me I should do and more to what GOD was telling me to do. I was moving away from being that person everyone was saying a Christian should be and into a place of honesty in simply who I am as a person.
Having the opportunity to serve at CCBC Mexico has taught me so much. People here have told me that I’m not the same guy. I’m seriously so thankful for the time that I’ve had to hear from God and be changed by God. It’s been a special season. And so I’m looking forward to what’s next. I’ve been praying about the future and God has opened a new way. This April I will be moving back to Florida to join Love Is Wild photography with Josh and Sarah Thurber. I’ll be working as a photographer and cinematographer. I cannot wait to work with these guys!
To all my friends and amazing family here in Mexico, you have no idea how much you all mean to me. You’ve shown me so much love, acceptance, generosity, patience, joy, and more. Each one of you have played a special role in my life these past few years. Thank you all and I love you!
